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"Bye-bye
'Centennial Man'"
by Scott Mantz
"Bicentennial Man"
Robin Williams, Sam Neill
Directed by Chris Columbus
It's a pretty
well-known joke in Hollywood, but it's true. Have you ever noticed
how the movies Robin Williams does with his beard are much better
than the ones he does clean shaven? Check it out. There's the hairy
faced Williams of quality films like "The Fisher King", "Awakenings",
and "Good Will Hunting" (for which he won an Academy Award). Then,
there's the clean-shaven Williams of mind-numbing crap like "Jack",
"Toys", and "Patch Adams". "Mrs. Doubtfire" stands out as one of
Williams' best smooth-skinned movies ever (next to "Good Morning,
Vietnam"), so it makes perfect sense that he and his "Doubtfire"
director Chris Columbus would give it another go. Well, nice try.
While "Bicentennial Man" is ambitious in its approach and impressive
in its production values, it ends up being far too ridiculous to
have any emotional impact whatsoever.
Welcome to the
not-too-distant future, where robotic household servants are an
everyday commodity. One lucky family gets more than they bargained
for when their servant, simply called Andrew (Robin Williams), displays
some very unusual characteristics. Not only does he build clocks
and listen to classical music, but he also develops a special bond
with the youngest daughter, who he refers to as Little Miss (Hallie
Kate Eisenberg). His owner (Sam Neill) decides to teach him about
the facts of life, and thus begins Andrew's 200 year journey to
become human, for which we go along for the ride.
Unfortunately,
the ride's a little boring. And a little long. And a little silly.
Director Chris Columbus has a proven track record when it comes
to fun, funny, and fuzzy movies that make you just want to reach
over and hug the person next to you, but his attempt at a more serious
subject matter is weighed down by his effort to please everybody.
It starts off simple enough, but about midway though, the film announces
its intention to be more than just a mechanical "Mrs. Doubtfire".
While the intellectual approach may be too much for kids, the overly
idealistic approach will definitely be too much for adults. It's
way-too-clean look at the future keeps the film from having any
depth whatsoever, and by the end, you're cringing by it's efforts
to pass itself off as a futuristic melodrama.
Then there's
the actual story, which has more holes than a block of Swiss cheese.
For example, Dad takes it upon himself to bring Andrew closer to
humanity. He treats him like a member of the family and even helps
him open up his own business. So when he finally asks for his freedom,
Dad becomes bitter and resentful. Huh? Where'd that come from? Then
there's the relationship between Andrew and Little Miss. I can understand
a paternal relationship while she's still a kid, but as she grows
older she develops genuine feelings for Andrew. Fast-forward for
a few decades, where Andrew looks more like a human being. Only
this time, it's Little Miss' granddaughter Portia who has a crush
on the mechanical man. Again, where'd that come from? Oh, and one
more thing. Just what was it that made Andrew different from the
other robots in the first place?
Robin Williams
is his usual sappy self, but he fortunately spends most of his time
restrained from launching into his typically hyperactive tirade.
When he finally breaks out of his mechanical shell, he reverts to
the sensitive clown that's pretty much been his trademark. Sam Neill
brings a touching level of sympathy to Dad, and Embeth Davidtz is
in fine form as the adult Little Miss and her descendent, Portia.
Oliver Platt shows up later in the film and provides a much-needed
anchor to keep the film from going off into overly-schmaltzy territory.
In the hands
of a more capable director, "Bicentennial Man" could easily have
been the film that it so clearly strives to be--a provocative morality
play about the thin red line that separates individuality from artificial
intelligence. In the hands of Columbus, it's merely the cinematic
equivalent of a never-ending Hallmark card. His attempt at such
an intellectually stimulating issue may be admirable, but it's far
beyond, maybe too far, from the family friendly fodder for which
he's become a proven commodity. My advice to Columbus? Bring it
down. Stick to the formula. My advice to Williams? Keep the beard.
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