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 "'Bone'
Crushing" by Scott Mantz
"Play It to the Bone"
Woody Harrelson, Antonio Banderas
Directed by Ron Shelton
If there's any
film director who deserves to be classified as a sports freak, it's
Ron Shelton. Just look at his body of work, and it's pretty obvious.
He gave minor league baseball players their day in the spotlight
with "Bull Durham". He showed us that, when it comes to basketball,
"White Men Can't Jump", and when it comes to golf, it's never to
late to win the "Tin Cup". Then, he shattered our illusions by revealing
the true colors that made up baseball legend Ty "Cobb". (Football
should have been next on his list , but I guess Oliver Stone beat
him to it.) Well, white men can't jump, they sure as heck can't
box either. "Play It to the Bone" is an unfocused, underdeveloped,
and unamusing mess that pushes the boundaries for laughs that never
come.
Cesar Dominguez
(Antonio Banderas) and Vince Boudreau (Woody Harrelson) are washed-up
former middleweight boxing contenders who get the opportunity of
a lifetime. When the underscore boxers preceding the big Mike Tyson
fight suddenly become "unavailable", Cesar and Vince are asked to
fill in the bill. There's just one catch--they have to be in Vegas
and be ready to go in 5 hours. Cesar asks his girlfriend Grace (Lolita
Davidovich), who just so happens to be Vince's ex, to drive them
both to Vegas ASAP. They pile into a classic car, and they're off
and running. Along the way they discover Jesus, a dominating party
girl, and their appreciation for each other.
From the moment
the film opens, you're witness to so many contorted situations that
it prevents you from having any connection with the film. Not one,
but both of the original boxers are put out of commission. I guess
it had to be this way, or else we wouldn't have a movie. But then
I'm thinking, if the promoters are going to pay each boxer $50,000
for the fight, couldn't they at least come up with another $80 to
fly them out there? Another problem is that director Shelton seems
too content with borrowing from his own past than looking inward
for new inspiration. The competitive rivalry between Harrelson and
Banderas recalls Shelton's own "White Men Can't Jump", while their
last chance at stardom recalls Kevin Costner's similar situation
in 'Tin Cup". Unlike "Bone", at least those films were funny.
At least we
have Lolita Davidovich to ease the pain. She does her best to keep
it all together, and given the circumstances, she does a fine job.
She's a strong woman who genuinely cares about these guys and does
what she thinks is best for both men. She's got dreams of her own,
but don't let her sexy good looks fool you. She's one tough cookie.
Woody Harrelson
and Antonio Banderas play good friends who must now face each other
in the ring. In an effort to drum up some energy, Banderas chastises
Harrelson for his religious beliefs, and Harrelson pokes fun at
Banderas for his experimentation with his sexuality. This is supposed
to pass itself off as comedy, but the jokes fall flatter than a
pancake. Besides, any effort to bring them closer together is far
too contrived to be believed.
The last act
of the film switches gears from road picture to boxing flick. This
is where the dramatic tension is clearly lacking, and it's completely
understandable. Up to this point, we're presented with two annoying,
but supposedly lovable characters. When they enter the ring, who
do we root for? Unlike the "Rocky" pictures, where the opponents
are literally dripping with evil, "Bone" has two opponents that
we're supposed to care about. This leaves you feeling more conflicted
than connected, and as a result, the fight's inevitable conclusion
is hardly surprising.
Whatever sentiments
the film presents are saved for the last scene. The bruised and
battered pals take a crack at the roulette table to see if they
can increase their earnings. Meanwhile, Davidovich recovers from
a failed attempt to raise some venture capitol for one of her business
schemes. On their way back to LA, they all realize that at least
they have each other, and that's what's important. Too bad it took
a bone crushing 2 hours for them, and us, to figure that one out.
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