"Very 'Little'" by Scott Mantz

"Little Nicky"
Adam Sandler, Patricia Arquette
Directed by Steven Brill

Adam Sandler acts his shoe size in "Little Nicky"

There are three things you can count on when it comes to Adam Sandler's movies: 1) they're pretty stupid, 2) they make a lot of money, and 3) despite their stupidity, they are actually pretty funny. His latest project, the special effects-laden "Little Nicky," may settle for two out of three, but unfortunately, it settles for the wrong two. Yes, the film is stupid, and yes, it'll make a lot of money, but even at a svelte 90 minutes, it's boring as hell and painfully un-funny (kinda feels like-oh, I don't know-like Hell?). Having said that, if you're the type of person who likes to pay their hard-earned money just to see Sandler act like a retard, then this movie is for you.

Welcome to Hell, where things are looking, well, pretty hellish. After 10,000 years, the Devil (Harvey Keitel) is ready to pass his duties of torture and pain on to one of his three sons. At the last minute, he changes his mind, feeling that none of them are ready to handle the responsibility. That leaves older brothers Cassius (Tommy "Tiny" Lister Jr.) and Adrian (Rhys Ifans) hungry for a little payback, so they travel to the one place where they can unleash their own brand of terror--New York City. In their absence, the very fabric of Hell begins to unravel, and it's up to the lovable, but intellectually-challenged Nicky (Adam Sandler), to bring them back before Hell closes its doors forever.

Where most actors should be commended for showing signs of maturity, Adam Sandler should be condemned for showing signs of immaturity. Whatever promise he showed as an actor in 1998's surprise hit "The Wedding Singer" is completely forgotten with this misfire in tasteless humor. Not that his last two flicks, "The Waterboy" and "Big Daddy," were pure works of genius either, but at least they appealed to a certain demographic (specifically, teenage boys). Whatever the case, it's only a matter of time before the whole Peter-Pan-on-acid routine wears out its welcome, and with "Little Nicky," the writing is on the wall.

What's amazing is that as Sandler's budgets continue to increase, the quality continues to decrease. "Little Nicky" makes a noble attempt to spread the wealth with splashy special effects and a host of quirky supporting characters (including Rodney Dangerfield, Kevin Nealon, and Quentin Tarantino), but it's all wasted on a script that should have been condemned to purgatory (or even worse--Los Angeles!). The setup has a few noble chuckles in the vein of "what the heck were these guys smoking when they wrote this thing," but it deteriorates quickly to the point where it can't bounce back.

Sander tries to get the most out of this goofy concoction, but his lovable loser is more embarrassing than he is sympathetic. Harvey Keitel seems to be having some fun playing the Big Guy (hey, who knew he had a sense of humor?), but there's too little of him (literally) for his presence to save the film. After being possessed by the Devil in "Stigmata," Patricia Arquette shows up again in this demonic waste product, but it's a silly role that doesn't give her much to do (except maybe think about getting a new agent).

If change is good, then "Little Nicky" is proof that it's time for Sandler to change his act. After his string of hits, it makes sense that he would build up enough confidence to co-write this screenplay, but judging by the result, it's obvious that somebody needs to tell him "Gee, Adam, that's just not very funny." Some parting words of advice: 1) it's OK to grow up, 2) money isn't everything, and 3) movies don't have to be stupid to be funny.

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