"'Star' Wreck"
by Scott Mantz

"Star Trek: Nemesis"
Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner
Directed by Stuart Baird

To baldly go...! Tom Hardy and Patrick Stewart go head-to-head in "Star Trek: Nemesis"

With the sole exception of James Bond, no other entertainment property has lived longer or prospered more than "Star Trek." After 5 television series and 9 feature films--not to mention a merchandising empire that has taken in more than $3.5 billion--"Trek" is as strong as ever, and die-hard fans show no signs of losing interest in this series that has taken them where no one has gone before.

With the release of "Nemesis"--the 10th film and the 4th to feature the cast of "The Next Generation"--it seems only appropriate to beam in the one person most qualified to give it a well-rounded and informative review . Ladies and gentlemen, straight from the Starship Enterprise, please welcome Captain James T. Kirk...

Captain James T. Kirk: Thank you, it's great to be here.

Scott Mantz: Well Captain, I guess the big question is, what did you think of "Nemesis?"

Kirk: You know Scott, it didn't do anything for me. I had my hopes up, but when it comes down to it, "Nemesis" badly goes where other, better Trek movies have gone before.

Scott: What about the theory that the even-numbered "Trek" films have been amazing while the odd-numbered ones have sucked?

Kirk: To coin the phrase from my former First Officer, there is no "logical" explanation for it, but it does seem to be the case.

Scott: So are you telling me that "Nemesis" breaks the mold, that this film--an even numbered film--doesn't stand up to the other even-numbered ones?

Kirk: Yes, I'm afraid so.

Scott: What's the problem?

Kirk: Well, let me start off by saying that I never found "The Next Generation" crew to be as passionate as the crew from "The Original Series." When we were starting out back in the 60's, "Star Trek" was just a little show that had a lot to prove, and the only way to do that was by telling great stories with strong characters. "The Next Generation" had its moments, but for the most part, that irresistible spark was missing, and too many stories fell back on indecipherable techno-babble to support them.

Scott: Then how do you explain the success of the 8th film, "First Contact?"

Kirk: "First Contact" was an exciting and grand film that had mainstream appeal. It was more than just a glorified TV episode for the Trekkers. It was an epic in every sense of the word, which is more than I can say about "Nemesis."

Scott: Well then, Captain...

Kirk: Please, call me Jim.

Scott: Ok, Jim. Before I go further, what's the film about?

Kirk: After hundreds of years of hostilities, the Romulans are finally ready to talk peace. When the Enterprise is diverted to their home planet to begin the process, Captain Picard discovers that their leader is actually from the Romulan sister planet Remus.

Scott: Wow, we've never seen the Remans before.

Kirk: It turns out that this leader, called Shinzon, is neither Romulan nor Reman, but is in fact a human replica of Picard, long ago engineered by the Romulans to use as a weapon against the Federation. The plan was abandoned, but he still grew powerful enough to become the Romulan leader. It goes without saying that there's more to Shinzon than meets the eye, and the Enterprise becomes the Federation's only hope against an interstellar war.

Scott: That sounds pretty exciting! So what's the problem?

Kirk: Well for one thing, this villain, Shinzon, just isn't very menacing. If anything, he looks like he just stepped out of the latest James Bond movie.

Scott: How does he compare to the villain from "Star Trek II"...what was his name again?

Kirk: Khaaaaan! Khaaaaan!

Scott: Right.

Kirk: He doesn't compare at all. Anyway, after a somewhat exciting dune buggy sequence on a desert planet where an earlier model of Data is found, the next 45 minutes chug along at impulse power. There's some intrigue as Picard confronts his younger clone, but after that, the film climaxes with a space battle that's just not very exciting.

Scott: That's a shame.

Kirk: Yes it is, especially since it had so much going for it. The screenplay was written by John Logan, who won an Oscar for co-writing "Gladiator," and it was directed by Stuart Baird, who directed high concept potboilers like "Executive Decision" and "U.S. Marshalls." That should have given "Nemesis" a much-needed shot of inspiration, but the end result is so blatantly derivative of "The Wrath of Khan" and "The Undiscovered Country," it's not even funny. Without giving too much away, the film even contains a plot point that's straight out of "Star Trek II," yet the emotional impact doesn't come anywhere near that earlier, superior film.

Scott: Wow, Jim, I didn't realize you were such a film buff! What about the cast?

Kirk: Patrick Stewart obviously has a lot to do, and so does Brent Spiner as Data, since he co-wrote the story. But the rest of the cast--Jonathan Frakes as Riker, Michael Dorn as Worf, LeVar Burton as La Forge, Marina Sirtis as Troi and Gates McFadden as Dr. Crusher--barely registered on my sensors. I know it's hard to give everyone a fair share, but we did alright with the films based on "The Original Series."

Scott: It sounds like some major changes need to be made on "Star Trek."

Kirk: You're absolutely right. In the 4 years since the last "Star Trek" movie came out, the cinematic bar has been raised with groundbreakers like "The Matrix" and "The Lord of the Rings." Compared to those films, "Star Trek" feels dated, tired and redundant. It's time to shake things up and take some chances. After all, risk! Risk is our business! That's what this Starship is all about! That's why we're aboard her!

Scott: Well, Jim, thank you for your time. I'm sure you have some strange new worlds to explore.

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise...one to beam up!

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