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 "'Gossip'
Mongers" by Scott Mantz
"Gossip"
James Marsden, Lena Headey
Directed by Davis Guggenheim
I have an important
announcement to make. I have seen the future of filmmaking, and
his name is Davis Guggenheim. He has directed a new film that pretty
much dwarfs everything that has preceded it over the past 100 years.
You might as well take classic films, like "Citizen Kane", "All
About Eve", and "The Godfather", and throw them out the window,
because they pale in comparison to what "Gossip" has to offer. This
is it. The big kahuna. The real deal. Once you've seen this film,
there's no reason to see anything else. The Hollywood studios may
as well close their doors, because they'll never be able to top
this masterful achievement.
Ok, that's the
rumor. The fact is, "Gossip" sucks. Not long after the opening credits,
the film announces its preposterous scheme with such unbelievable
actions and ridiculous dialogue, that you can't believe your eyes
and ears. Oh, it's hip, all right. In fact, it' so hip that it hurts.
When this film comes out on DVD, my best recommendation is to use
it as a drink coaster.
Derrick (James
Marsden), Jones (Lena Headey), and Travis (Norman Reedus) are trendy
New England college students who would much rather drink themselves
into oblivion than learn anything from their classes. Since they
have nothing else to do, they get the brilliant idea to plant a
rumor and watch it grow. After prudish Naomi (Kate Hudson) is seen
drunk with her spoiled brat boyfriend Beau (Joshua Jackson), they
spread the rumor that they slept together. The rumor comes full
circle and turns into a bona fide rape case. Now what do they do
(other than take more drinks out of their Crate & Barrel martini
glasses)? Jones tries to set the record straight by admitting that
it was all in good fun (like root canal work!), but then she uncovers
some dark secrets about her J-Crew wannabe roommate Derrick.
It's quite obvious
that director Davis Guggenheim has never been to college--at least,
not any college that I've ever heard of. If he did, then he would
realize that college students simply don't live like this. The three
main characters live in such a hip, trendy, and ultra-stylized apartment
that it makes you wonder why they even bother going to their classes
in the first place. Even on their worst days, they look like they
just stepped out of an Urban Outfitters catalog. Every scene contains
at least one shot of everybody pouring themselves a drink to ease
the pain of college life (just wait 'til you get out into the real
world, pal), only to smash their glass against the wall in an overly
dramatic style that would make a daytime soap opera seem like quality
entertainment.
The real star
of the film is the flashy MTV-style of the directing, not the oh-so-pretty
young actors who try their best to move the scenes along with the
ridiculous dialogue that they have. Lena Headey seems to be the
most talented of the bunch, but this is clearly not the vehicle
for her to strut her stuff. The scenes where she finally displays
her chops are dragged down by the ineffective and unlikable actions
her character makes. James Marsden is nothing more than a cliche´d
pretty-boy from the outset. Even though his pad is being supported
by his trust fund, it still doesn't make sense why his roommates
would stick around once things get hairy. As roommate #3, Norman
Reedus does a great job of emanating the "frustrated artist" look,
but whenever he opens his mouth to talk, you can't understand what
it is he's trying to say (and, probably, neither can he).
The most puzzling
aspect about "Gossip" (other than the tremendous holes in the story)
is the presence of TV vets Edward James Olmos and Sharon Lawrence.
Lawrence has about three scenes, and it isn't until they're over
that you finally realized it was her. When Olmos makes his grand
appearance, I actually thought the film was going to get good (honestly,
I gave up after the first five minutes). The fact is, neither actor
has anything to do, prompting bewilderment as to why they took these
roles in the first place.
The concept
of spreading rumors around is something that we all like to do,
whether we'll admit to it or not. As Marsden states at the beginning
of the film, "Gossip is news". Whether it involves classmates, co-workers,
and especially celebrities, there is a certain guilty pleasure to
be gained while others only end up suffering. Instead of making
the audience dig deep into themselves to question their own need
for this ridiculous behavior, "Gossip" only goes for the gloss.
There's nothing underneath. Watching the film definitely made me
feel guilty, and that certainly wasn't a pleasure.
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