"A Hard Day's 'Knight'"
by Scott Mantz

"A Knight's Tale"
Heath Ledger, Shannyn Sossamon
Directed by Brian Helgeland

Surely you joust! Heath Ledger gets ready to rock the house in "A Knight's Tale"

Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!

All moviegoers who find themselves baffled at the prospect of filling a medieval period piece with modern day music, take heed! Thou dost find themselves in good company, because even in this fair kingdom of mindless summer movies, the premise for "A Knight's Tale" is still a little too hard to taketh.

Since "A Knight's Tale" is one of those movies that you either go with or you don't, it makes perfect sense that writer-producer-director Brian Helgeland doesn't waste any time in going for it. The movie is barely 5 minutes old when crowds of patrons are clapping their hands and stamping their feet in unison to Queen's "We Will Rock You" at a 14th century jousting match. In a split second, you forget about the absurdity of the situation and get ready to rocketh and rolleth. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie doesn't follow suit, and despite a noble turn from Australian heartthrob Heath Ledger, this knight's tale is joust plain silly and boring.

When his noble master is suddenly killed, peasant William Thatcher (Heath Ledger) takes his place with dreams of becoming a knight. With the help of his medieval gang of misfits (Mark Addy and Alan Tudyk), William reinvents himself as a nobleman named Ulrich von Lichtenstein. He becomes a superstar in the jousting arena, but his increasing popularity and courting of a beautiful fair maiden (Shannyn Sossamon) come to a screeching halt when the evil Count Adhemar (Rufus Sewell) threatens to expose his true identity. Is William doomed for peasant status forever, or will he--ahem--rise to the occasion?

Think of "A Knight's Tale" as "Excalibur" meets "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet" (the Leonardo DiCaprio version) by way of the World Wrestling Federation--but not nearly as exciting. Had the film maintained the vibrancy, energy, and freshness of its opening scene, then it might have ended up as the stylish and oh-so-hip good time that it clearly wants to be. The main problem is that it doesn't take full advantage of its style, and the only time it really comes to life is when a rousing medieval dance turns into a well-choreographed rendition of David Bowie's "Golden Years."

But that's where it ends. In between the musical numbers, "A Knight's Tale" is up to its helmet in silly melodrama, poor writing, and shallow characterization. Sure, it's a summer movie in every sense of the word, but if director Helgeland was going to mix genres, then he should have pulled out all the stops and gone for it. As it is, the movie loses its focus, tries to be too many things to too many people, and gets stuffier than a suit of armor draped over a heavy winter jacket.

Following his breakthrough performance in 1999's "10 Things I Hate About You," Heath Ledger hit paydirt last year by starring alongside Mel Gibson in "The Patriot." There's no doubt that he has a tremendous screen presence, but his talents are better suited when he's paired with a star of Gibson's caliber who can bring out the best in him. On his own, his performance is relatively weak, and he doesn't seem too comfortable in carrying his own movie.

It doesn't help that he's surrounded by a bunch of thinly veiled 14th century numskulls (played here by Mark Addy and Alan Tudyk), and even the fair maiden played by the beautiful Shannyn Sossamon doesn't have much to do except look pretty. Rufus Sewell tries in earnest to play the type of bad guy you love to hate, but only Paul Bettany, who plays a juvenile version of the classic writer Geoff Chaucer, intermittently brings the film to life with his animated, scene-stealing performance.

Ultimately, "A Knight's Tale" is ridden with moments of redundancy, and as a result, it goes on far too long. The film as a whole doesn't completely come together, and by dragging in certain spots, it's obvious that it could have gone through another round in the editing bay. As it is, I could have gone out for popcorn a couple of times and made it back in time for the next jousting competition. Not that I would have missed anything. After all, you've seen one jousting match, you've seen them all.

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