"'Worst' Case Scenario"by Scott Mantz

"What's the Worst That Could Happen?"
Martin Lawrence, Danny DeVito
Directed by Sam Weisman

The dinner game! Danny DeVito and Martin Lawrence try to upstage each other in "What's the Worst That Could Happen?"

Martin Lawrence must have a thing for playing criminals. He's done it in three out of his last four movies--"Nothing to Lose," "Life," and "Blue Streak"--and now comes "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" To that end, it's rather appropriate that he winds up robbing moviegoers of their money, because even fans of his hyperactive antics will most likely find themselves disappointed by this meandering, painfully unfunny hack job.

Lawrence plays Kevin Caffery, a professional thief who manages to turn a one night stand with the beautiful Amber (Carmen Ejogo) into a meaningful relationship. Believing in fate, she gives him her father's ring as a token of her love, but when his robbery of Max Fairbanks (Danny DeVito), a ruthless business tycoon, goes awry, Max winds up stealing the ring from Kevin. Instead of leaving well enough alone, Kevin makes it his mission in life to get the ring back, even if it means destroying his relationship with Amber. It's a pissing contest of enormous proportions, and moviegoers are left to clean up the mess.

"What's the Worst That Could Happen?" has to be one of the most aptly titled movies to be released by a Hollywood studio in years (actually, last year's "Loser" really takes the cake). For one thing, you know you're in trouble when the funniest thing about the movie is a fart joke brought on by a French poodle. Other than that, there's nothing about this "Ruthless People" wannabe that's even mildly amusing, and with a running time of just over an hour and a half, it still feels like it's over two hours long.

Of course, it doesn't help that none of the main characters have any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Martin Lawrence, who can usually win over an audience with his animated charisma and flair for physical comedy, has nothing to work with here, and Danny DeVito, who was downright hysterical as the type of bad guy you love to hate in "Ruthless People," just seems to be walking through his role. (For what it's worth, with the right amount of makeup, DeVito would make a great Yosemite Sam!).

The worst that could happen to author Donald E. Westlake is that Hollywood makes a lame movie out of his popular book. Oh, wait--that already happened! The worst that could happen to Martin Lawrence and Danny DeVito is that they decide to make a sequel to this waste of time, but considering that it doesn't stand a chance against all the big summer blockbusters, don't count on it. Finally, the worst that could happen to you is that you decide to pay for this waste of celluloid. Heck, it's not even good enough for cable.

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