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"'Star'
Bores" "Star Wars: Episode
II--Attack of the Clones"
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| "I've got a bad feeling about this!" Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, and Ewan McGregor face a new challenge in "Star Wars: Episode II--Attack of the Clones" |
There's not much that can be said about "Star Wars: Episode I--The Phantom Menace" that hasn't already been said, except that it was clearly a major disappointment for fans hoping to re-capture the majestic beauty and epic excitement that defined the original trilogy. To that extent, it's rather ironic that even though it went on to become one of the highest-grossing movies of all time--with an incredible $923 million worldwide--you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who actually liked it.
Now Jedi impresario George Lucas strikes back with "Star Wars: Episode II--Attack of the Clones," which, I'm happy to say, is a much better movie than "The Phantom Menace." Then again, that's not saying much. While the special effects are impressive (as usual), the script is weak, the dialogue is flat, the acting is stiff, and most of all, the all-important love story that's supposed to give the film its emotional core just doesn't work. Despite some thrilling moments--particularly the climactic battle scene that will have die-hard Jedi Knights stroking their lightsabers--"Attack of the Clones" is further proof that the Force is turning into a farce.
It's been 10 years since the events in "The Phantom Menace," and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) has grown into a dashing--and powerful--young Jedi-in-training under the strict and watchful eye of his mentor-teacher Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor). Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman), the former Queen of Naboo, is now a distinguished Senator trying to maintain order after a separatist movement throws the Republic into chaos. Anakin is instructed to protect Padme after a failed assassination attempt on her life, but during their time together, he finds himself torn between his true feelings for her and his celibate loyalty to the Jedi order. If that's not enough, Obi-Wan has uncovered a deep, dark secret within the Republic that will one day grow to enormous proportions and bring terror throughout the galaxy.
Whereas George Lucas set the standard 25 years ago, he now seems content to merely follow it (and of course, sell lots of action figures). Despite bigger and better special effects, the pace drags for long stretches at a time, and the progression of the story is filled with scenes that resemble other movies--particularly "Gladiator" and (of all things) "Chicken Run." There's even a so-called "car chase" scene in which Anakin Skywalker pulls a "T.J. Hooker" and jumps on the hood of another speeding vehicle.
Even though Lucas got help this time around and shared screenwriting duties with Jonathan Hales, the result is still a far cry from the sharp, fun, and instantly-quotable banter of "The Empire Strikes Back." The dialogue lacks passion, and some of the corny one-liners (especially from poor C-3PO) hit the ground with a resounding thud. At least there's one saving grace: Jar Jar Binks, the single most reviled character in the "Star Wars" universe, doesn't have much to say, and he makes only two brief appearances before fading into obscurity.
What's even more surprising is how stiff the acting is. Natalie Portman is a fine young actress, but her performance in "Attack of the Clones" is her weakest yet (not to mention that she goes through more hair styles and costume changes than a Madonna concert). Newcomer Hayden Christensen is well-cast as the brooding young Darth Vader-to-be, but his melodramatic delivery only accentuates how weak his dialogue is. Even Ewan McGregor and Samuel L. Jackson cannot rise above the shortcomings of the script, although it must be said that Jackson easily has the best line in the whole movie (trust me, you'll know what it is when you hear it).
By having this new set of films take place in the past, Lucas may have boxed himself into a creative corner. Like with "The Phantom Menace," there's only so much new ground that "Attack of the Clones" can cover without being constricted by the events that will eventually take place in the original trilogy. While seeing familiar images--like the plans for the Death Star and spaceships that resemble Star Destroyers--make the film feel like a "Star Wars" movie, there's nothing particularly imaginative about the way they are presented. And I hate to say it, but no matter how many Jedis you throw into the mix, if you've seen one lightsaber battle, you've seen them all.
To be fair, there are a few exciting sequences that will keep you on the edge of your seat, and after all these years, it's nice to see master Yoda get a piece of the action for a change. Actually, it's moments like this that will keep the fans coming back for more, which will undoubtedly push "Attack of the Clowns"--er, excuse me..."Attack of the Clones" into the all-time top-grossing list alongside its predecessor.
And who knows, there may even be some people who actually like it.
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© Scott Mantz - Scott's Movie Reviews
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