|
"Women
Behaving 'Ugly'"
by Scott Mantz
"Coyote Ugly"
Piper Perabo, Maria Bello
Directed by David McNally
What do the
film business and the music business have in common? Well, a lot
of things, judging by how hard it is to make it in either one. Unless
you've got a thick skin and can deal with all the rejection and
the scrutiny, then I suggest the closest you come to the music business
is your nearest Tower Records.
In "Coyote Ugly,"
not only does Violet Sanford (Piper Perabo) have a thick skin, but
she has a beautiful skin at that. Both come in real handy as she
follows her dream to hit the big time as a songwriter, even if it
means having to work at a sleazy bar to make it happen. There's
no doubt that the film is a feast for the eyes as far as its sexy
cast is concerned, but the story turns out to be as watered down
and tasteless as the drinks served to the bar's rowdy customers.
Meet Violet.
She's always been daddy's little girl, but now she's ready to ditch
her job at a New Jersey pizzeria to follow her dream of being a
songwriter. She moves to the urban jungle of Manhattan, where she
finds that getting her music heard is easier said than done. Just
like everyone else, she has to pay her dues, but in the meantime,
she also has to pay her bills. She gets a job at Coyote Ugly, a
bar that's just as notorious for its rowdy customers as it is for
its even rowdier bartenders. Violet has to win over an intimidating
boss (Maria Bello) and overcome her stage fright if she is going
to keep her job, much less make it in the music industry.
Just by the
trailer alone, you can pretty much sum up "Coyote Ugly" as "Cocktail"
meets "Flashdance" (God, I love this town!). Actually, that would
be a tremendous compliment, considering how corny and weak the movie
is. "Cocktail's" Tom Cruise is replaced by five (count 'em--five!)
hotties dressed up in tight leather outfits, performing tricks with
bottles of alcohol. The feminist salute that defined "Flashdance"
is replaced by women who, when they're not serving drinks, are literally
on top of the bar, performing dance acts that keep the place one
step short of being a strip joint. In between all this is some lame
attempt to tell an inspiring "follow your dreams" story, but let's
be honest--that's not the focus here.
Beneath the
flashy style and the hormone-driven substance, there is also an
endeavor to build some character (please, somebody get me a drink),
but with all the focus on newcomer Piper Perabo, you can pretty
much count on not learning a thing about the other four bartenders.
Maria Bello (she left "ER" for this?) plays the tough-as-nails owner
of the bar, but as for why she's so compelled to stay trapped in
such a dingy place, your guess is as good as mine. Bridget Moynahan
plays a fellow barkeep who's not so quick to embrace Perabo with
open arms, but judging by how little of this subplot there is, something
tells me that more of her scenes were left on the cutting room floor.
Izabella Miko comes across as nothing more than a stripper who miraculously
manages to keep her clothes on, while Tyra Banks is hardly in the
film at all.
As for Perabo,
she tries to come off as a sort of next generation version of Julia
Roberts, but the resulting film hardly manages to allow her to deliver
on that promise. Not to mention the fact that her character is filled
with more inconsistencies than the OJ Simpson trial. One minute,
she's getting down and dirty at the bar, and the next, she's afraid
to perform her own songs in public. Adam Garcia plays Perabo's love
interest in what is pretty much a nothing role, while John Goodman
is underutilized as Perabo's sweet-natured and protective father.
When he is on the screen, the film comes to life, but when he's
not, the bar is closed.
There's no doubt
that the film's sugar-coated inspiration, beautiful co-stars, flashy
style, and catchy soundtrack should signal that producer Jerry Bruckheimer
is in the building, but by merely rehashing his own past glories
(he produced "Flashdance"), he falls victim to Hollywood's law of
diminishing returns. "Coyote Ugly," which is based on a real life
New York City bar, ends up having the thrill of doing a beer bong--the
immediate rush is there, but, boy, are you gonna regret it first
thing in the morning.
|
