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"Almost
Unwatchable"
by Scott Mantz
"The Watcher"
James Spader, Keanu Reeves
Directed by Joe Charbanic
You can always
tell when a movie is going to be a real stinker. If the film's biggest
star refuses to do any press or promotion, then that's usually the
biggest sign, but if the film also stars either James Spader or
Marisa Tomei, then that will do the trick as well. Unfortunately
for Universal, all three strikes inflict "The Watcher," and the
result is a film that is, well, almost unwatchable. Despite a few
moments of genuine suspense, the film is marred by headache-inducing
direction, a sloppy script, and--what a shock--an uninspired performance
from Keanu Reeves.
Joel Campbell
(James Spader) is a retired FBI agent who's professional career
is all but over. He let psychotic serial killer Allen Griffin (Keanu
Reeves) slip through his finger in Los Angeles, and he's been popping
pills and seeing a therapist to maintain his sanity ever since.
When Allen rears his ugly head in Chicago and starts knocking off
new victims, Joel is called back into action. Allen seems to be
having more fun taunting Joel with his sick cat-and-mouse game than
he is with stalking his prey, and Joel has to act fast before the
body count continues to increase.
Movies about
serial killers are a dime a dozen these days (just look at "The
Cell"), but none have done it better than 1991's "Silence of the
Lambs." "The Watcher" is clearly not even trying to pass itself
off as another "Lambs," but it is shooting for at least some level
of Hitchcock-inspired suspense. Allen makes it a point to send pictures
of his intended victims to Joel before he goes in for the kill,
taunting him in a way that brings to mind the psychological head
games John Malkovich played with Clint Eastwood in "In the Line
of Fire." In the film's best scene, Joel races through a mall with
the clock ticking to find Allen's latest victim before her time
is up.
Unfortunately,
the rest of "The Watcher" finds first-time director Joe Charbanic
editing the film like a music video, which not only threatens to
take you out of the suspense, but also out of the theater. The film's
big car chase is edited so poorly that it has to go down as being
one of the worst in cinematic history, and the hyperkinetic editing
only accentuates how ridiculous the progression of the story actually
is.
Poor James Spader.
He's a good actor who can't seem to get a break these days ("Supernova"
anyone?). He actually manages to convey the desperation of the wounded
agent looking for a little redemption, but even his performance
is not enough to save the film. While Spader may be a good actor
in search of a good movie, Keanu Reeves is a bad actor who just
seems to keep getting lucky. "The Matrix" didn't require him to
do much, which was one of the reasons why it worked so well. Whenever
he has to stretch, like he does here, his performance becomes more
painful for the moviegoer than it is for one of his intended victims.
Marisa Tomei
plays Spader's psychotherapist who's convinced that he and Reeves
have a codependent relationship and that they need each other in
order to survive (leave it to a therapist to say something like
that). There's not much of a role for her to sink her teeth into,
but then again, that's probably a good thing. With more films like
this, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences may have to
do to her Academy Award (she won it for Best Supporting Actress
in 1993's "My Cousin Vinny") what the RIAA did to Milli Vanilli's
Grammy (they took it back). My advice to Tomei? Get a new agent.
"The Watcher"
merely ends up as one of those films that you shouldn't pay full-price
for, but as a rental or a late-night cable movie, it's not that
bad. It's one of those movies that those involved are not likely
to put on their resume, but If you're just such a big Keanu Reeves
fan that you just have to watch "The Watcher," then consider yourself
warned.
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