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 "'Chill'
Out" by Scott Mantz
"Chill Factor"
Cuba Gooding Jr., Skeet Ulrich
Directed by Hugh Johnson
Cuba, got a
minute? We've gotta talk! Your career has been pretty amazing, but
you have to be careful. Winning Hollywood's most coveted prize makes
you an industry darling, but don't take it for granted. You should
know by now that the press has this nasty habit of building people
up just so they can bring them back down crashing to the ground.
Which is why I just cannot understand why you would even bother
with an embarrassing waste of time (and money) like "Chill Factor".
You made one
hell of a breakthrough performance in 1991's "Boyz in the Hood".
Not only was it a powerful and provocative film, but your performance
solidified that theatrical experience as memorable. I couldn't wait
to see what you would do next. In 1996 you landed the role that
utilized your dramatic and comedic talents, and the result was something
most actors can only dream about. Not only were you able to almost
steal the show from Tom Cruise's own movie, but you snagged an Academy
Award for Best Supporting Actor for "Jerry Maguire". Your heartfelt,
emotional, and exciting acceptance speech alone made that year's
Oscar telecast worth watching. So what the heck happened?
Ok, I'll give
you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe "Chill" looked good on paper.
As far as action movies go, it does have a cool (sorry, I couldn't
resist!) premise. A military-made chemical of incredible destructive
power is in danger of landing in the hands of a disgruntled ex-marine.
Its up to you and Skeet Ulrich to take the chemical to the nearest
army base for safe keeping. Here's the catch: you'd better keep
the temperature below 50 degrees or kaboom! Fortunately, you show
up with an ice cream truck, which will be perfect for keeping the
stuff chilly. However, why you didn't scoot (or is it Skeet?) out
of there at the first sign of trouble is beyond me, but then we
wouldn't have a movie (actually, that would have been a better idea!).
I know the prospect
of making an action film is exciting, but a closer look at the script's
dialogue should have sent you screaming for a new agent. For example,
when the bad guy notices your attempt at heroics, couldn't the writers
come up with something better for him to say than "I remember what
it was like to fight for my country". When you and Skeet do the
obligatory arguments found in every buddy picture these days, couldn't
you say anything more inspiring than "Kiss my a**"?
Don't worry
Cuba. Its not too late. You made a noble attempt earlier this summer
with the more dramatic "Instinct", but even that didn't toot anybody's
horn. For what it's worth, take my advice, and learn from the mistakes
of your peers. Geena Davis won an Oscar for "The Accidental Tourist".
After one too many bad choices, she took up archery and hosted last
year's Oscar pre-awards show. Kevin Costner had an incredible case
of beginner's luck winning the Best Director Oscar for "Dances With
Wolves", but after a string of flops he has yet to remind us why
we used to pay money to see his films.
Cuba, maybe
somebody took your trademark line from "Jerry Maguire" verbatim
and, well, showed you the money. I know that's tempting, but we're
talking about your career here. You may want to look closer at Bruce
Willis's track record. Whenever he does one too many dogs, he finds
a project that shows us hardworking moviegoers just why we fork
over the big bucks to see him. The time has come for you to do the
same. I know this all seems harsh, but it's only because I care.
You have tremedous talent, and when it's wasted on dreck like this,
it sends a shiver up my spine.
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